Sleepless...again

It's 3:45 am.  I can't sleep.  I have been having difficulty sleeping lately.  So here I am, at almost 4 am, writing out my thoughts.

What goes through my mind at almost 4 am?  Well, many things...

I hope that my daughter can find her place in life.  I never did.  I struggled to fit in everywhere I went.  No one ever truly accepted me.  To all the people in my life, I was never thin enough, never smart enough,never beautiful enough.  People have looked down on me my entire life because I came from a not so well off background.  I won't go into that background, as I don't like to talk about it.  But I have only two living family members left.  That is my daughter and my brother.  And my brother and I are not close.  So I am alone, besides my daughter and my dog.  You don't know what being alone is until you are facing a financial crisis, and you know that you have absolutely no one there to help you.  It's like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute.  I have no safety net, no one to catch me when I fall.  Most people I know have family to help them financially.  I do not.  My car is not working at the moment.  It has been broke down for well over two months now.  I do not have the money to get it fixed now, or any time in the near future.  And there is no possible way I will be able to get another car.  Not even a used one.  And for those of you who still have family left that you can turn to, please do not tell those of us who have no one that you know how we feel.  No.  You don't.  And you never will, until you're in this situation.

Until next time...